Winning this week's $20 and improving his record to 4-1 was Paul, who finally got the game he was looking for from Shonne Greene in addition to solid games from Eli Manning and Jimmy Graham in a win over Jeremie. It is Paul's first $20 prize of the season. Also at 4-1 but surrenderring the points lead this week is Marc, who beat Tom behind the stellar Cam Newton and Willis McGahee (yes Dan, we know the middle syllible of "McGahee" is "gay").
Other action saw Eddie upset Chris, with BenJarvus Green-Ellis (seriously, do you think BGE and Jermichael Finley's mothers got together and smoked something on the day of their birth? There's a gazillion fine names out there and she's like, "I know, I'll name him BenJarvis.") and Pierre Garcon leading the charge in a close one. Adrian Peterson may have had a big game but that didn't stop Mike from cruising to a win over Nick thanks to Javid Best and Phillip Rivers. And finally, Uncle Joe earned a much needed victory over Kevin with Matthew Stafford and another solid effort from Frank Gore doing the damage.
THIS WEEK'S $20 WINNER:
Paul, 131.23 points
HIGHEST SCORING PLAYER:
Adrian Peterson (Nick), 30.20 points
TOYOTA "ASS RAPING OF THE WEEK"
Paul beats Jeremie by 23.29 points
SCORES:
Paul- 131.23, Jeremie- 107.94
Eddie- 111.78, Chris- 110.55
Dan T.- 124.64, Dan L.- 110.64
Mike- 122.6, Nick- 110.48
Uncle Joe- 104.16, Kevin- 100.74
Marc- 109.83, Tom- 90.49
STANDINGS (Records):
1. Dan T. (5-0)
2. Marc (4-1)
3. Paul (4-1)
4. Chris (3-2)
5. Mike (3-2)
6. Eddie (3-2)
7. Tom (2-3)
8. Dan L. (2-3)
9. Uncle Joe (2-3)
10. Jeremie (1-4)
11. Nick (1-4)
12. Kevin (1-4)
STANDINGS (Points):
1. Dan T. (642.06)
2. Marc (641.25)
3. Chris (628.74)
4. Mike (607.54)
5. Tom (592.89)
6. Dan L. (585.35)
7. Paul (583.49)
8. Kevin (566.74)
9. Uncle Joe (562.13)
10. Jeremie (548.67)
11. Eddie (540.28)
12. Nick (538.22)
THIS WEEK'S MATCHUPS:
Kevin (Motor City Madman) vs. Jeremie (Deez Nutz)
Marc (Octomom's P*ssy) vs. Eddie (Full Hairy Jacket)
Paul (Strictly Business) vs. Mike (dcwarpath)
Chris (Wyld Stallyns) vs. Dan T. (Inferno)
Dan L. (Hebrew Hammer) vs. Nick (Pueple People Eaters)
Uncle Joe (Mongrels) vs. Tom (SD Spankfest)
MATCHUP-OF-THE-WEEK
Chris vs. Dan T. Earlier Chris guaranteed he would win both the records and points title this season. He's in contention for both but here is his chance to step up and take a game from the leader, and at the same time make us happy that SOMEONE FINALLY BEAT DAN F**KING TODD!!!!!
LEAGUE NEWS & NOTES:
-This week's byes: Cardinals, Broncos, Chiefs, Chargers, Seahawks, Titans.
-We got us a little trade this week. Marc sent RB Stevan Ridley to Eddie for WR Mike Williams.
-After updating everyone's career records on the website, the Commish discovered that last season both Uncle Joe and Dan T. acheieved 100 career wins in the league. Congratulations to both. And with one more win this season, Paul joins that club, he currently sits on 99 career victories.
THE "POOP LIST":
Chris (Billy Cundiff) and Eddie (Ray Lewis) both played a player on a bye week, ironically in a game against each other. Please remember to check those rosters for bye week players, if you decide to start one for strategic reasons (i.e. there's no one on your roster you want to cut for a fill-in DL) then that's okay, but otherwise please make sure inactive players are not in your lineup.