Now, as Tom would say, "Okay, back to the dick jokes." And we all know that makes Dan L. happy.
Yes, it's true, the train keeps right on rolling as Dan steams towards a fourth straight title. It's still early in the season, but without a loss and having just escaped a tough battle with Mike, Dan's team is showing all the signs of a man who can't be stopped. Dan somehow always finds a way to win, even if he isn't the highest scorer (remember, he finished in the bottom half of the table in points scored last year). This week, Mike put forth a very valliant effort in trying to beat Dan and came closer than anyone had before. But in the end, Dan came through with a narrow, high-scoring win. Credit Tom Brady, Dwayne Bowe, and the fact he had eight players score double digits for the win and a 4-0 start.
Another guy off to a great start to the season is Marc, who in just four weeks has already won two weekly prizes, including this week. Marc's interesting decision to start Cam Newton over Michael Vick paid off handily as the "steal of the draft" candidate scored heavily along with Dez Bryant and Darren McFadden. Nobody in league--in fact, almost nobody in fantasy history--scored higher than Aaron Rogers, whose 52.92 points almost eclipsed Michael Vick's 57+ point performance last season, which was the highest in league history. Still, Rogers was not enough to overcome Marc and knocks Kevin down to 0-4. Menawhile, with Marc's high score he takes over the points lead.
Two other teams are at 3-1 after this week, but both heading in potentially opposite directions. Chris put a beatdown on Tom this week behind Ryan Mathews and Darren Sproles, and this week gets Miles Austin back, so things are looking up. Tom held the points lead coming into the week, but could not break the 100-point barrier and slips to fourth on the list. Paul, in the mean time, eeked out a victory over Nick and lost Andre Johnson for a few weeks, and with Shonn Greene not performing well thusfar, he may not have the legs to keep up with Chris, Marc, Tom, and Dan. Of course, there's always Ryan Fitzpatrick.
In other action, two weeks ago Dan L. was sitting pretty. Now he's 2-2 and suffering from the curse of Jamaal Charles. Eddie took him out this week behind Matt Ryan and Jordy Nelson. And finally, Jeremie notched his first win of the year with an impressive performance against Uncle Joe, with Calvin Johnson and Michael Turner doing the damage. Uncle Joe, our two-time reigning points champ, is now 1-3.
THIS WEEK'S $20 WINNER:
Marc, 142.03 points
HIGHEST SCORING PLAYER:
Aaron Rogers (Kevin), 52.92 points
TOYOTA "ASS RAPING OF THE WEEK":
Chris beats Tom by 24.37 points
SCORES:
Marc- 142.03, Kecin- 133.02
Paul- 95.76, Nick- 94.88
Chris- 120.31, Tom- 95.94
Dan T.- 130.67, Mike- 129.08
Eddie- 115.74, Dan L.- 101.12
Jeremie- 112.76, Uncle Joe- 98.53
STANDINGS (Records):
1. Dan T. (4-0)
2. Marc (3-1)
3. Chris (3-1)
4. Paul (3-1)
5. Tom (2-2)
6. Mike (2-2)
7. Dan L. (2-2)
8. Eddie (2-2)
9. Uncle Joe (1-3)
10. Jeremie (1-3)
11. Nick (1-3)
12. Kevin (0-4)
STANDINGS (Points):
1. Marc (531.42)
2. Chris (518.19)
3. Dan T. (517.42)
4. Tom (502.40)
5. Mike (484.94)
6. Dan L. (474.71)
7. Uncle Joe (457.97)
8. Kevin (466)
9. Paul (452.26)
10. Jeremie (440.73)
11. Nick (437.74)
12. Eddie (428.5)
THIS WEEK'S MATCHUPS:
Uncle Joe (Mongrels) vs. Kevin (Motor City Madman)
Tom (SD Spankfest) vs. Marc (Octomom's P*ssy)
Jeremie (Deez Nutz) vs. Pau; (Strictly Business)
Chris (Wyld Stallyns) vs. Eddie (Full Hairy Jacket)
Dan T. (Inferno) vs. Dan L. (Hebrew Hammer)
Mike (dcwarpath) vs. Nick (Purple People Eaters)
MATCHUP-OF-THE-WEEK
Tom vs. Marc. The points leader vs. the guy who was the points leader coming into the week. Both have strong teams that are scoring well, and we can expect a solid matchup between these two, although Tom will have to win without the magical Ray Rice. On another note, and I might be wrong about this because Dan L.'s pretty hefty, but I think this matchup pits the league's heaviest player against its lightest.
LEAGUE NEWS & NOTES:
-First time we've had bye weeks. This week's byes include the Ravens, Browns, Cowboys, Dolphins, Rams, and Redskins. Sorry, no Rex Grossman interceptions or Tony Romo choke jobs this week.
-No more poop list, but please be sure to keep your eye on those bye week players in the coming weeks. There are byes every week from now until Week 11, except for Week 10, everyone plays that week.