Not that any of it matters since Dan's already clinched the title, but Chris put up a monster performance this week. All the Ryan Matthews doubters are starting to look like fools, but Chris is looking like a genius for taking him. He defeats Aaron Rogers and Kevin, who's already making excuses for why he'll lose in Week 4. But congrats to Chris on winning his first $20 prize of the season.
As for the remainder of the games that mean nothing because Dan's already clinched the title, Dan L. fell from the ranks of the unbeaten this week. Tom flexed his muscles (or is that arm fat?...ahh who cares, Dan's already won the title anyway) and so did Drew Brees and Jermichael Finley. Whoever said "age and treachery will always defeat youth and skill" or whatever the F that saying is obviously wasn't a Shindelus, as the younger Shindelus (Paul) defeated the not-quite-as-young Shindelus (Joe) behind this year's early-season surprise, Ryan Fitzpatrick. In a terrific game that Dan T. did NOT win, Marc edged Jeremie by the slightest of margins. Darren McFadden did the damage for Marc, while Calvin Johnson and Mark Sanchez returned fire for Jeremie. And finally, in a matchup of guys who lost to Dan in Week 1 and will lose to him in Week 4, Mike brought his East Coast Swagger (too bad his Redskins didn't) and defeated Eddie behind Mike Wallace and this week's highest scoring player, Dan Todd...oops, I mean Wes Welker.
THIS WEEK'S $20 WINNER:
Chris, 140.43 points.
HIGHEST SCORING PLAYER:
Wes Welker (Mike), 35.6 points
TOYOTA "ASS RAPING OF THE WEEK":
Dan T. defeats Nick by 35.87 points.
SCORES:
Chris- 140.43, Kevin- 121.78
Dan T.- 120.45, Nick- 84.58
Mike- 115.54, Eddie- 105.10
Tom- 133.10, Dan L.- 115.92
Marc- 128.10, Jeremie- 126.79
Paul- 108.36, Uncle Joe- 98.82
STANDINGS (Records):
1. Dan T. (3-0)
2. Tom (2-1)
3. Chris (2-1)
4. Marc (2-1)
5. Dan L. (2-1)
6. Paul (2-1)
7. Mike (2-1)
8. Uncle Joe (1-2)
9. Nick (1-2)
10. Eddie (1-2)
11. Kevin (0-3)
12. Jeremie (0-3)
STANDINGS (Points):
1. Tom (406.46)
2. Chris (397.88)
3. Marc (389.39)
4. Dan T. (386.75)
5. Dan L. (373.59)
6. Uncle Joe (358.44)
7. Paul (356.5)
8. Mike (355.86)
9. Nick (343.96)
10. Kevin (332.98)
11. Jeremie (327.97)
12. Eddie (312.56)
THIS WEEK'S MATCHUPS:
Kevin (Motor City Madman) vs. Marc (Octomom's P*ssy)
Nick (Purple People Eaters) vs. Paul (Strictly Business)
Chris (Wyld Stallyns) vs. Tom (SD Spankfest)
Dan T. (Inferno) vs. Mike (dcwarpath)
Uncle Joe (Mongrels) vs. Jeremie (Deez Nutz)
Dan L (Hebrew Hammer) vs. Eddie (Full Hairy Jacket)
MATCHUP-OF-THE-WEEK:
Chris vs. Tom. The two highest point scorers this season battle out for the right to maintain their points lead and to finish second in the records race.
LEAGUE NEWS & NOTES:
-Reminder that "bye" weeks begin next week.
-The name of the league trophy has officially been changed to the "Dan Todd Cup."
-As you probably saw in the chatter on the message board, a lot of us (the Commish included) are disappointed with Yahoo's performance this year, specifically the failure of the phone apps to connect with the server on game day and the consistent slow updating and crashing of Stattracker. If Yahoo doesn't get it together it is likely we will use a different provider next season. No word yet on what that provider it might be. Sorry Dan, looks your quest for five Yahoo bobblehead trophys may fall short even if your quest for five titles doesn't.
THE "POOP LIST":
Nada.