They say the NFL is a league of parity. Somehow that addage is carrying over to this fantasy league. There are only 5 weeks left in the season and there is a log jam in the midle of the standings. Only two games separate 10th place from 3rd place. Our league leader is defying all odds this year. His win this week moves his season record to a steller 9-3 dispite being 9th in the points race. On the flip side, Purple People Eaters is 2nd overall in points, but holds a 5-7 record in head to head matchups. Wyld Stallyns continued his incredible run in the points category. With a solid 127 this week. His team has scored less than 110 points only twice this season! So you better bring your A game if you expect to get a win. His 107.72 point lead in the standings will be hard to overcome this late in the season...
Matchup Notes: Kevin (95.18) vs. Mike (89.72)
Should have know this game would be close. These two teams are separated by only 10.1 pts for the season. The final score was 95.18 to 89.72 in favor of Motor. After starting the season 0-6 Motor has gone on a crazy tear and is now 6-6! Turnaround award officially won. A person with first hand knowledge of the situation witnessed Dcwarpath kicking himself in the ass for poor lineup decisions again. Riding his bench this week was Maurice Morris (13pts) and James Jones (15.4pts) while starters Ben Tate (2.6pts) and Julio Jones (0 pts) grabbed the shit spotlight. A special FU goes out to Paul who probably made the right decision by cutting Julio Jones a few weeks back. Many of you remember the great crying incident of the 2011 season when Paul sent a break up letter to us after another frustrating week. Right back at you... It seems Julio Jones is the football equivalent to the movie The Break Up.
Matchup Notes: Marc (108.22) vs. Paul (105.34)
Paul's team suffered another close loss this week and the suicide watch has begun. Shanahan continued his trend of pissing off every fanatasy owner of a Redskins running back by sticking with Roy Hulu to the tune of 22.2pts. Of course, he was rotting on Paul's bench and the crying continues.... The good news for Paul is that top draft pick Andre Johnson has returned! Too bad he is left with T.J Yates throwing to him.... The Farve watch has started in Houston.... Octomom has his own frustrations as he is carrying both Carolina RB's and its a crap shoot which on will perform on a weekly basis. He guessed wrong this week, but still pulled out the win with a strong performance by Michael Bush. Mike Williams has also made a return to relevance with two strong games in a row.
Matchup Notes: Chris (127.02) vs. Uncle Joe (125.74)
Our points leader had a close shave this week pulling out the win by only 1.28pts! Interesting note, Mongrels gained 4 points this week by offensive players making solo tackles! It was almost enough to get him the win. Mogrels had huge performances by... wait.. a KICKER!?? Yes, you read that correctly, Sebastian Janikowski scored 19 pts this week... a feat which Phillip Rivers has only accomplished 3x's this year. (Yes, I hate you rivers) Beanie Wells explosed all over the St. Louis Defense to the tune of 26.80pts and 228 yards. Sadly it was not enough to overcome the balanced attack of the Stallyns who had 7 players score at least 10 pts including 20.9 from undrafted Laurent Robinson.
Matchup Notes: Eddie (130.12) vs. Dan T. (115.81)
Full Hairy leads the league with a 9-3 record. Very balanced scoring this week. Matt Ryan, Maurice Jones-Drew, Jimmy Graham, BenJarvus Green-Ellis, and Donald Brown all exceeded thier yahoo estimates. Inferno finally had Chris Johnson show up this week with 16.3pts and a 190 yards rushing. This guys is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. After dominating the league and fantasy land the last few years, he looks like his legs are in mud. With two good performances in the last 3 weeks, I'm sure Inferno is hoping he has turned the corner especially with fanatasy stud Fred Jackson down for the year...
Matchup Notes: Dan L. (126.87) vs. Jeremie (66.13)
Wow... This was an ass kicking... Much like Dcwarpath, Deez Nutz left a lot of points on his bench this week as Mark Sanchez (28.7pts) carved up the free falling Bills defense and Lance Moore (17.4 pts) and the Saints could do no wrong against the depleted Giants secondary. By the way, I feel your pain with Daniel Thomas. I have him in my other league and had high hopes for this guy. Much like Julio Jones he has been troubled by hamstring injuries and it is looking like a lost year for him. Hebrew Hammer moved his record to 7-5 this year with solid performances from just about every position. Patrick Peterson continues to impress as a return man tying the NFL record this week with 4 retrun TD's in his rookie year.
Matchup Notes: Nick (138.44) vs. Tom (121.45)
Even the heroic performance by Drew Brees this week (45.32pts) could not give SD Spankfest the win. Man, if I were the GM of San Diego (Which means a Whale's Vigina) I would be kicking myself for letting Brees go... Has this guy beem anything but amazing since coming to New Orleans? In the last five complete seasons, he has throw for 22,918 yards (4,583/Year Avg) with 155 TDs (31/Year Avg). This year he has 3689 Yards and 27 TD's with 5 games remaining. WOW! Aaron Rodgers is posting similar numbers, but these guys are just amazing... Anyway, back to the game... Purple People Eaters takes the win and moves to 5-7. A disappointment for sure considering his 2nd place standing in points, but the $20 weekly prize should help ease the pain.
THIS WEEK'S $20 WINNER:
Nick, 138.44 points
HIGHEST SCORING PLAYER:
Drew Brees (Tom), 45.32 points
TOYOTA "ASS RAPING OF THE WEEK":
Hebrew Hammer 126.87 vs Deez Nutz 66.13 -- 60.74 Point Differential. (OUCH - Hopefully Hammer lubed up before thrusting that deep).
SCORES:
Marc- 108.22, Paul- 105.34
Chris- 127.02, Uncle Joe- 125.74
Eddie- 130.12, Dan T.- 115.81
Dan L.- 126.87, Jeremie- 66.13
Kevin- 95.18, Mike- 89.72
Nick- 138.44, Tom 121.45
STANDINGS (Records):
1. Eddie (9-3)
2. Chris (8-4)
3. Dan L. (7-5)
4. Mike (7-5)
5. Marc (7-5)
6. Kevin (6-6)
7. Dan T. (6-6)
8. Nick (5-7)
9. Tom (5-7)
10. Paul (5-7)
11. Uncle Joe (4-8)
12. Jeremie (3-9)
STANDINGS (Points):
1. Chris (1522.00)
2. Nick (1414.28)
3. Dan L. (1400.97)
4. Kevin (1388.32)
5. Tom (1385.09)
6. Dan L. (1378.22)
7. Marc (1376.09)
8. Dan T. (1360.22)
9. Eddie (1277.03)
10. Paul (1288.58)
11. Uncle Joe (1261.96)
12. Jeremie (1225.47)
THIS WEEK'S MATCHUPS:
Mike (dcwarpath) vs Tom (SD Spankfest)
Paul (Strictly Business) vs. Dan T. (Inferno)
Chris (Wyld Stallyns) vs. Jeremie (Deez Nutz)
Dan l. (Hebrew Hammer) vs. Kevin (Motor City Madman)
Uncle Joe (Mongrels) vs. Marc (Octomom's Va-Jay-Jay)
Nick (Purple People Eaters) vs. Eddie (Full Hairy Jacket)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK:
Nick vs. Eddie. This game is important for two reasons. Full Hairly looks to hold the lead in team records, while Purple People Eaters looks to the points title.
LEAGUE NEWS & NOTES:
-No More Bye Weeks!
-Thursday Night Football is great to watch, but annoying as hell in fantasy land.
-Unfortunately it's the time of year for mathematical eliminations. Sadly, at six games back with five to go, Jeremie becomes this year's first owner to be mathmatically eliminated from title contention. Better luck next year Jer!
-Mike (Redskins Fan) and His Wife (Jets Fan) will be at the game in DC this week. Should be an interesting car ride home....
Dcwarpath - OUT!